We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross You have redeemed the world.

Oh Jesus! You are so close to the end, and yet You fall this third time. By now, Your strength is gone. Your body is crumpled on the ground, blood mixing with the dirt. As you lay there, I wonder if You will really stand and continue.

Lord, there are times in my life when the pain is too great to continue and my heart is crumpled in a heap on the rocky, dusty ground. I fall under the weight of my own sins, inadequacies, and past hurts. The weight of my own shattered dreams, too, drives me to the ground. I have carried them so far – must I continue? These shattered dreams – so painful, yet somehow part of Your plan and therefore good for me – have pushed me to the ground before. Then, I rose and continued, only to fall again…and now again. This third time is simply too much. Will this never end? I say this and then bite my tongue. The end is so close. I know how it ends. How can I take one more step towards the end, towards THAT end?

Lord, I give up. I cannot continue. This cross is too heavy to bear. I give up.

I give IT up. Take it, Lord, and carry it for me, because I cannot continue. Take my cross, these hurts, these sins, these shattered dreams. I surrender them all to You. In this moment, as I lie bloody and exhausted, in makes no sense to me. I cannot see how this is good. And yet You are good, and somehow this makes sense to YOU. So take it – here. Take it, please, for I need Your help. Help me to trust You. Help me to trust that You are good, that even this pain will work for good. Give me the patience to wait in hope. Calvary will not be the end. This suffering will not be wasted. Death leads to a life more glorious than before. Jesus, help me.

By Amata.

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