When I came home from the convent, my hair was super short. It was a severe blow to my self-esteem because I had long hair for many years.
From This
To This
In short (no pun intended), my drastic appearance change (among other things) caused my self-confidence to crumble. I have the slightest feeling that, in hindsight, I will see God’s hand in all of this. He brought me closer to Himself by showing me that His Love never fails. For example, I felt that everyone was judging me by my hair and I just wanted them to know that I didn’t choose to look like this (because the sisters wear the habit, my head was covered by a veil, so my long hair was unnecessary). Of course, it was unfathomable that I would want to tell the world that I just came home from the convent, so there was only one place I knew I could be truly loved and understood. That place was in front of the Tabernacle.
There was only one problem…God did not miraculously add extensions to my head, so I still had to try to make it look decent. At first, I only used mousse because there wasn’t much else I could do.
Mousse’d up!
Goofy!
Eventually, my new friends convinced me to buy hair accessories, so I spruced it up with little flowers, bows, clips, etc.
And when my hair finally grew long enough to get a stylist, I was directed to use a certain taffy to give the top of my head a little volume, which is great! I was never big into hair products, but I’m allowing myself to splurge a little due to the circumstances.
Anyway, life went on, and when I came home from college for summer break, I decided to do some investigating about the hairstyle atop my head. A few of my discoveries included:
-This style has a name – The Pixie Cut! I found a post called, The Pixie Cut Series which changed my life, in a subtle way. The author has great advice, such as: “Avoid The Mullet”…
-And scarves! I found a great video by a woman who shared her wisdom about pixie cuts and scarves. After watching this, I went on a hunt into the thrift stores in town for the cutest head wraps/scarves I could find. By the way, “thrifting” has become one of my most favorite hobbies…who doesn’t love saving money?!
My favorite scarves!
-And finally, curlers perhaps? I do like the curly-bang look. But because my hair is thick and straight, I’m not sure if the foam curlers I purchased will do me any good. Time will tell.
There was a lot of helpful information on the web, and I’m thankful that I had the determination to find it. In the end, God placed me in a situation and I decided to embrace it. I suppose I could have given up and wallowed in my misery, allowing my hair to fall where it may…but instead I made a choice and it feels beautiful to change my perspective and use what God has given me .
If anyone is struggling with their appearance as I am, know that there is a way to break free from the struggle and still feel beautiful. Instead of trying to “fix it,” work with what you’ve got!
Lord, help me to accept whatever cross you may place upon my shoulders, and help me to carry the burden…for I cannot do it alone.
by Liz Miller
Liz is a college student who embraces all of life’s awkward moments. She loves Ven. Fulton Sheen and puns.
Thanks for this post, Liz!
In the order to which I belonged, we wore the back and sides VERY short, and the top a little bit longer so we had hair to tuck back under the front of the veil. NOT the kind of styling that will take the world by storm 🙂 I used to call it the “Frullet” (i.e. the front mullet).
I had similar trouble to you when I first got back… except my hair is super curly – and frizzy, if left to its own devices… think “frizzy fro” – and I also have ears that stick out in a BIG way. The trick has been to keep the sides long enough that it minimizes the impact of conspicuous ears but also to keep it from looking like a “Nana cut!”
I’ve since figured out what works and embraced it… enough people have told me “its cute” or “it actually suits you better than long hair!” that my confidence got that little boost I needed to start experimenting with accessories. I’ll probably KEEP it short, now!
Just another one of those tiny little things that all adds to the impact of major-life-adjustment when returning from the convent to the outside world again, isn’t it?
God bless you – and thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your experiences! The term “Frullet” is great!
In the community that I belonged to, haircuts were something that you had to do yourself. The last time that I cut my hair prior to leaving the convent, I could only find a pair of child’s school scissors. My hair was a disaster when I left! I found great comfort in head scarves and the fact that my sister is a hair stylist. And the fact that God desires my soul to be beautiful, not my hair…
Self haircuts – that’s tough! And thank you for your beautiful concluding sentence 🙂
Hahaha I tried this once, with absolutely devastating results… I’m grateful that this was not required of us like it was of you, EmptyForGod!! How wonderful that your sister could resolve things for you!! And that, frivolity aside, you were able to keep it in that beautiful serene perspective 🙂
Thanks for sharing. My hair was kind of “long” when I left because all of us had been holding out on getting haircuts until the final professions which ended up working out for me. My hair was still pretty short as far as the world goes. It’s growing out and I finally can get part of it up so it’s not in my face. I’m looking forward to it growing out more, luckily my hair grows fast. It was hard in the convent because my hair line was so low that I’d get a haircut and literally two weeks later my hair was showing again. Oh well blessed be God!
The good thing about hair is…that it will grow back! It just takes patience and time!
True! And thank God for that!
I was only a postulant when I left, so hair wasn’t an issue for me(mine was still ponytail length.)
Actually, my hair-related problems took place while I was still in the convent! I had such a hard time mastering the hairstyle we were required to have as aspirants — especially because there were no mirrors! We were supposed to have our hair pulled back straight (no part) and in a high ponytail, and smoothed down with lots of hair gel. (I thought it was amusing/ironic that in Spanish (I was in a convent in Mexico), the pronunciation of the word “gel” sounds a lot like the English word “hell”!) I seriously don’t think I really got the hang of doing my hair right; I think that after a while the Sisters just gave up on telling me! 😛 Once I became a postulant, I had a veil, so the hair thing wasn’t as much of an issue anymore. 😉
Like Emily Teresita, I left during postulancy and didn’t have to cut my hair, which was close to waist-length at the time: even more fortunately, there was no set style, so I wore it loose (with bangs tied back) as an aspirant and in a bun once I officially became a postulant.
I do have one memory of the transition that still entertains me, though. At recreation the day after I put my hair up for the first time, I realised that one of the senior Sisters was peering at me curiously.
I turned around to look at her. “Sister?”
She said, “I was just wondering…”
“Yes…?” (Examining my conscience in that rapid-fire way that helps postulants to calculate how much trouble they’re in a second before they’re actually in it)
…
“How did you fit all that hair into that tiny little bun?”
Thank you, Liz for bravely sharing your hair story. (And pictorial documentation!)
Loved this story! I am going through the same thing with my hair right now. Upon leaving the convent, I felt like it would be vain of me to go to a hair stylist or to style it a certain way. But now I realize we are women and temples of the Holy Spirit so we need to present ourselves with dignity! Glad you shared this with us. Thank you!!!