By Jennifer, CA.
Sometimes I can feel contradicted like Jesus, as He went through His Passion. Why is the Son of God being questioned, beaten, and condemned to die?! It takes faith and surrender to have the mindset to acknowledge that the unsuspected is happening to me, and it’s not up to me to fix it beyond my daily fiats. Because God is going to do the rest.
A definite example would be when I recall leaving religious life. Why is this happening? I am supposed to be a nun! It is when I can only raise my eyes up to the crucifix like Our Lady, and maybe like her, silently look on. Though, unlike her, it may be difficult for me to know what to think or do from there. But I am trying to remember that the key is, to still be confident in the God Who Loves me. And as I have heard so many times, He is God, and I am not.
I can give myself permission to not only be strangely beyond controlling of a situation, I can also carry on in that certainty that He has got this. That is definitely how Jesus hung on the cross, raising His eyes to the Father, did He not? (See complete Psalm 22, especially the ending.)
I share this after going through my own dark nights of depression, anxiety, and dread, and slowly learning the way to be “pulled back up” again. Sometimes I’ve got to recommit to letting go, even now. It takes grace, it takes confidence, and it takes recalling the goodness of God. Because guess what? He’s got this!
Even in the face of contradiction, I am called upon to keep going, and as I have learned time and time again from three simple words a beloved Sister once told me: Let Him Lead!
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