Mar 15, 2014 |
The first signs of spring have finally arrived and people are getting excited. In the Northern regions it is warmer and the snow is melting. We can see the ground again! But yet, it’s a rather ugly time if you really think about it.
For those of you who don’t live in places like this, let me explain. The snow melts and everything gets wet. Not a “fresh spring rain” kind of wet. Nope. Everything is muddy and messy. The sidewalks and streets have pools of water. The grass is brown and flat. The dead leaves from Autumn are clogging the drains in the street. What is left of the snow is black and brown and gross looking as it melts and uncovers all of the trash, old newspapers, pieces of the road, etc. hidden underneath. Animals killed on the highway and pushed off by the snowplows are suddenly lying out in the open. And all of this is half rotten because it has been slowly decomposing. I also forgot to mention that we had a few terrible ice storms this winter too. So all of the trees that fell down are still lying about because no one was really able to clean it up when it happened. Basically messy broken-ness is everywhere!
If you look at it with a critical eye, this is a terrible and unsightly scene.
And yet, most people are really happy about it!
Strangers in the elevator tell you how excited they are about the weather changing. The people you walk past seem to smile more and look hopeful. Your co-workers start making vacation plans. Kids can start playing outside with their bikes. It’s amazing!
Why do people react this way? It is irrational! Yet it makes perfect sense if you have hope and you know where this time of transition is leading us: summer!
God helped me realize today that this is very similar to what is going on in my soul, particularly during times of spiritual growth and transition. The more we attempt to follow Jesus and try to, “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Mt 5:48), the more we see the vile and unpleasant parts of ourselves. It can be so discouraging! For that reason we need to keep the end goal in mind: perfect union with God in Heaven.
Satan loves to tempt us to despair when something revolting may be uncovered by Lent, changes in our life, etc. So what can we do to fight back? Sharing our struggles with a trusted friend and/or a spiritual director is always a good choice. Often they can have a more realistic perspective than the one experiencing the struggle. Another is to combat the lie with the truth. “Lord, I know it seems as though I am regressing spiritually. But help me to know that you are with me as I am being purified.”
Finally, try to think of the hope we feel during the transition from winter to spring. Though it can seem disgusting, we are heading to something beautiful. God bless you!
By Pinkie
Jan 24, 2014 |
Often when I’m examining my faults, I will let the train of thought take me to the town called “Maybe That’s Why I was Called to Leave the Convent.” And before I know it, I’m recalling instances like that one worldly conversation I had with a sister; or the feeling of insecurity when trying to do the ‘right thing’; or the way I overreacted when the pot of soup boiled over; or my attachment to always winning at a game of cards…need I go on? Well, most of the time these thoughts lead me to further examination, which leads to either a vague feeling of enlightenment or the feeling of disappointment…in myself and in God.
Except for last night. I was lying in bed and started to think about how it seemed like I wasn’t able to embrace the present circumstances of my life. Again, that train took off: “That’s it!! I don’t think I embraced ‘The Life’ as ‘My Life’…”
And all of a sudden, it’s like the Holy Spirit jumped in front of this train and simply said: WHAT IF I did everything I was supposed to do (according to the state of life I was in), and it was God’s plan all along?! WHAT IF I didn’t do anything wrong but it was all right in the sight of God?
It certainly gave me peace as the “train” came to a screeching halt and I remembered that “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world (Eph 1:4).” Which means that He had each and every one of us in mind before He even created the world – so He must know what He’s doing and loves us according to His plan!
WHAT IF I could stop trying to make excuses for “Why I was Called to Leave the Convent”?
—I think it would be a lot easier to see my life as more of a purpose and less of an accident.—
Lord, grant me the grace to see myself and my life as You see it.
By Liz Miller
Liz is a college student who embraces all of life’s awkward moments. She loves Ven. Fulton Sheen and puns.
Jan 21, 2014 |
“Take, O Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. Whatever I have or hold Thou has given me; I restore it all to Thee, and surrender it wholly to be governed by Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace, and I am rich enough to ask for nothing more.”
—St. Ignatius of Loyola
On entering a convent, you surrender your life to God. On leaving a convent, even more so, you surrender your will as well. All of your plans, your desires, your hopes, your dreams, your struggles, your perseverance: these now seem completely pointless. You wonder if they meant anything at all.
The truth is: THEY DO!!!
What dearer things to your heart do you have to offer your Beloved than these? Only your will is fully yours; surrender that, and we have given Him everything!
It is hard to imagine that we could be happy while following a path that is different than what we originally wanted. But His path (this “road to Calvary” really), is your path to holiness, to Union with Him, which was the whole purpose of your having entered Religious Life in the first place!
What is Religious Life if not a gradual surrendering of our will in order to become conformed to His, and thus enter into complete union with Him? When He called you out of the convent, He desired to quicken that process. He did not wish to wait any longer to possess you entirely. Therefore, you are still called to this union; you are still called to give yourself entirely to Him; you are still His beloved Bride!
Now you have given Him your memories, understanding, your time, your work, your obedience, poverty, and chastity, your religious family, customs, and life: wait and see what He does with them, because He was the one who had given them to you for a time. You’ve grown, you’ve loved, you’ve surrendered; this is the image of His life on earth.
You are not as far as you think from living in a perfect imitation of Jesus’ life, which is the true “Religious Life.”
One word I must speak to You tonight,
In it is summed up in my heart’s prayer.
In it is my sorrow, joy, desires, love,
Gifts, pleasures, temptations, illness;
Ah, Jesus, everything!
I will not moan or groan at Your Hand,
Only Your will, my Jesus, is my own.
I have nothing to give, I am empty.
So take my whole soul, my yes,
My fiat.
by Rachel.
Dec 31, 2013 |
Since leaving the convent I’ve had the privilege of living with my brother, his wife and their three children. It has been amazing for many reasons.
As you would imagine, the convent life is well-ordered and you have a sense of what to expect everyday. Things did certainly come up on occasion to change your schedule, but mostly we followed the horarium and knew what was going on each day. However, living with a young family with three children 4 and under is completely different. Chaos reigns. For instance, now that it is after Christmas, it looks like a toy bomb went off in the house. Post-Christmas in the convent is nothing like this!
Yet, there is a real beauty in the disorder and chaos here. I think we all spend most of our lives trying to convince ourselves that we have more control over our lives than we actually do. But the reality is that life happens and there isn’t much we can do about it. Family life exemplifies this truth. You can try to keep the toys picked up, crumbs off the table and yucky things out of mouths, but the effort is rather futile. Experiencing this firsthand has helped me grow immensely. The order and structure of convent life fit with my natural personality. But the insanity of living here is much more beneficial to helping me grow as a person. What a blessing!
I cannot help but reflect on what my image of holiness can be: neat, orderly, clean, ironed and fresh-smelling. But is that the only path to holiness? It certainly wasn’t the stable in Bethlehem (barn animals anyone?). I am confident it wasn’t St. Therese as she coughed up blood or her dad as he suffered mental illness. If you really stop and think what life was like for most saints, I think the answer would be at least a little messy.
So what does this mean for us? Should we throw our hands up and let the house get overgrown with mold? Certainly not! We still need to keep choking hazards out of mouths and encourage the kids to pick their toys up at the end of the day. But we shouldn’t be attempting to attain a 100% sterile environment and kill ourselves in the process. I don’t know where the balance is located, but it’s certainly worth praying about it. This idea bleeds over into our personal lives as well. Compared to the convent, the world is a noisy, messy place. And yet, for now the Lord has called us back into the world to “make disciples of all the nations…” (Mt 28:19). Though this sounds like a daunting task, he leaves us with this encouraging line: “Behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Mt 28:20) Thanks be to God!
By Pinkie
Dec 2, 2013 |
That I Can Do In The World (To Make My Life Better)
Be disciplined about time:
When the bell rang, we stopped what we were doing and moved onto the next thing. It didn’t matter if you were in the middle of a great story, having an awesome prayer time, etc. It was time to go. In my life this would add a lot of sanity if I have the discipline to do it. If I tell myself I will read for 15 minutes, do email for 5 minutes, then clean for 20 minutes, etc. I would get so many different things done. Instead I get sucked into tasks and neglect the others. Or I stay up too late so I am tired and grouchy the next day.
Communicate with family:
It was stressed that we needed to write to our family regularly. Because of that, I wrote my grandparents (and parents) often. And it was such a blessing. I didn’t make it a priority in the world because there were so many other tasks vying for my attention. But in the convent we knew that Sunday afternoon was time to write. What a gift! There is something very beautiful about a letter arriving in your mailbox because it is so intentional.
Sometimes I just need to move on:
When there would be a misunderstanding in the convent, it was hard to find time to talk things out because we observed silence for most of the day. I had such a desire to explain myself to others or find out why they did what they did, etc. But we really couldn’t do that, and it was often a blessing. I don’t need to explain myself all of the time or tell others why what they just did hurt me or annoyed me, etc. Quite often I would forget about whatever was such a big deal when I finally had an opportunity to talk about it.
Choose your words:
Having so much silent time made the opportunities for talking to my sisters precious. I was very intentional about my conversation and I started to see how much useless talking goes on in our lives. Now that I am back in the world, there are many times where random things pop into my head. I could share these thoughts in conversation, but I just choose not to say them.
Make reading a priority:
We had 30 minutes of designated spiritual reading time every day. Because of that, I blazed through a ton of great books. If I even dedicated half that amount of time to reading spiritual books now that would be awesome.
Don’t hit snooze:
When the bell rang at 5am we had to get out of bed. It was just part of life. The day was so productive because we got up and got moving.
The importance of recreation/free time:
It was part of our schedule because it is important. I felt good after exercising and spending time with my sisters!
Being flexible:
We had a schedule but sometimes things came up: random mission trip, etc. It’s easy to get bent out of shape when you have your day planned and then a monkey wrench comes in. But in the convent it was easy to view it as “God’s will.” I can do that in the world too!
Portion control and lack of sweets:
You couldn’t over eat or overindulge because certain foods weren’t available at all or in large quantities. What a gift!
How to take a fast shower:
It is possible!
A tidy room is pleasant:
My cell was calm because there wasn’t a bunch of junk lying around.
Sit up straight and smile:
The importance of good posture and a joyful countenance was very obvious in the convent!
by: Maria Goretti
Often when I’m examining my faults, I will let the train of thought take me to the town called “Maybe That’s Why I was Called to Leave the Convent.” And before I know it, I’m recalling instances like that one worldly conversation I had with a sister; or the feeling of insecurity when trying to do the ‘right thing’; or the way I overreacted when the pot of soup boiled over; or my attachment to always winning at a game of cards…need I go on? Well, most of the time these thoughts lead me to further examination, which leads to either a vague feeling of enlightenment or the feeling of disappointment…in myself and in God.
“Take, O Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. Whatever I have or hold Thou has given me; I restore it all to Thee, and surrender it wholly to be governed by Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace, and I am rich enough to ask for nothing more.”
Since leaving the convent I’ve had the privilege of living with my brother, his wife and their three children. It has been amazing for many reasons.
Be disciplined about time:
Recent Comments