By AfterEpiphany.
St Therese of Lisieux, when pondering the symbolism of the garden for which she has become so famous, wrote that she realised that we couldn’t all be roses and lilies. She personally identified more with a smaller, less significant flower, and she discovered beauty in being that flower rather than some of the others she had once longed to be.
The Little Way of St Therese is indeed a message of comfort to we former sisters, if only one can get past the contempt that comes with an over-familiarity with the general notion of The Little Way, and actually embrace it and live it.
In my former community I celebrated my feast day on the 1st of October and St Therese of Lisieux was my personal patroness. Anyone who knows me well knows that I tend to gravitate towards grand plans and big ideas… I really need a saint like Therese praying for me, teaching me to be who I am and flourish as such in the Father’s Garden!
Once, I dreamed I’d be a religious sister and I hoped I’d be a holy one. I longed to be a saint. I longed for union with God. I felt convinced that He had called me to be a garden enclosed – His sister, His bride. Some years on, I find that I am NOT a religious sister, nor am I holy – neither lily, nor rose, much less that garden enclosed. I still long to be a saint, and I still long for union with God… and thanks be to Him that through the life and witness of St Therese He has shown me that there is still a way… albeit a little way.
As I learn to live The Little Way out here in my “post-convent” reality, the 1st of October is still special to me.
I celebrate it almost as if it were my birthday… because any excuse for a party will do… but more seriously, because the day still has a significance that I can’t quite articulate. Unless you’re a close friend or family member, you may not notice anything different about the way I go about my day. OK… so I generally eat “solemnity food” (i.e. I indulge in sugar just a little bit), and if there are lunchtime meetings that interfere with my Mass plans, guess which one wins? I have a picture of St Therese in a cardboard frame that I received from one of my former sisters on the day I received the habit… I’ve kept that picture and it receives pride of place in my “prayer corner” on October 1st. I still think of it as “my feast day” and I still consider it a day to “ask big” with a trust in the Father so characteristic of St Therese… through her intercession. I pray in a special way for all my former sisters who shared that feast day.
All of these external things are so little… so little… but they help to make the day special internally. My friendship with St Therese has been such an important feature of my post-convent healing. She has been such a faithful friend and has helped to keep the lines of communication open with our Heavenly Father when my heart was hurting most and I was tempted to turn away.
I don’t know how successful this would be, but I’d love to open up some discussion here in the comments below, among you, the Leonie’s Longing readers. We’re a community, after all, and we share a life experience that unites us in Him. Each one of us once longed to be a part of that garden enclosed… perhaps lily, perhaps rose. Some of you will have been in religious life long enough to have had a religious name and/or feast day. Those of you who returned home before receiving a name, or who belonged to communities that retained Baptismal names, may still have had a particular saint you considered your patron. And so I ask you.. do YOU still celebrate your “feast day”? If so, how do YOU make it a special day?
This October 1st, my feast day, I will again “ask big” – this time for each of you, my sisters in Him.
I’m like you, AfterEpiphany, those closest to me would know of the significance of the day but to others it would be like any other. My feast day remains a special day of observance because it was also the day my grandmother entered into eternal life. She passed away when I was three, but had given me a beautiful image of Our Lady of Grace who watched over me as I grew up and who gently called me into relationship with her Son. To celebrate that day, if I’m with my family we’ll have a family dinner and if I’m apart from them, dark chocolate is an absolute must and extra time in Adoration thanking God for all the graces He has given me and the many ways He has invited me closer to Himself over the years (often most notably in the bottom of the barrel moments, if you know what I mean).
St. Therese is my patron too. i had dreamed of being a religious sister like her and to be a saint. I still long for union with God and to be holy but after leaving the convent recently ( i was there 10 years and had final vows) I almost would cry if i though of St. Therese. It was not easy to leave but I realize she interceded for me many times especially when i was thinking about leaving. So even though i am not a sister anymore she is still my patron so today I plan to celebrate her feast and put flowers next to her picture and to have icecream ? (something we liked to have at the convent when it was a feast day.) she is such a faithful saint who intercedes for so many people especially for us former sisters. I feel her presence always with me.
You are all in my heart and prayers today! When I go to mass at noon today i will offer the mass for your petitions
please pray for me!
i had intended to take a religious name honoring St. John Paul….his feast is coming up this month….still figuring out what I can do to make the day extra special since i won’t be celebrating it as a novice! ? i try to wish my former sisters a happy feast on their day since i know probably no one else may remember the significance of that day for her and the memories associated with it.
St. Thérèse has always had a special place in my heart. Therese is my middle name, and my discernment started when I discovered her and then decided that I would be a Carmelite like her!
When I entered the convent (though not the Carmelites!) I was called Sr. Teresita because there was another postulant who entered with me who has the same baptismal name as I do.
For quite a while after I left, even thinking of St. Thérèse made me sad. I couldn’t help but compare myself to her, and see how many of my trials were comparable to ones she experienced — but SHE had stayed, and I left.
But St. Thérèse never gave up on me, and she has played a huge role in the healing process. A wonderful priest friend recommended that I read the book “I Believe in Love,” which is about St. Thérèse’s spirituality. This book has helped me immensely, and I highly recommend it.
St. Thérèse is definitely a faithful friend! <3
I had been thinking about taking the name Sr. Rose Paul for my religious name. St. Rose of Lima’s story was the second saint story that I read in the convent, and her deep prayer life really inspired and touched me. The name Rose had a double meaning for me with her and also St. Therese <3 I've always loved St. Therese's Little Way <3 I would have taken august 23rd, st. Rose of lima's feast day, and I was blessed this past June to visit St. Rose's house in Peru! I still have a deep longing for religious life and am actively discerning still; I took a six month "break" from discerning when I left, but God chiseled down my walls, and I'm back on that path again! And I know St. Rose, St. Paul, and St. Therese are praying for me!
I always felt that St. Therese was the one who guided me to my former community and after being asked to leave for unjust reasons I was upset with St. Therese and questioned why she lead me to a community that was no longer living an authentic religious life. Now I know that St. Therese led me there to see what religious life is not, and I consider it a learning experience. And now that I am discerning religious life again I know that St. Therese will help to lead me to a community that lives in simplicity like she did and I will be able to openly love the Lord with all of my heart in total abandonment.
I definitely still celebrate my feast day, although it is always bittersweet. This year I am blessed to be celebrating six months of dating a wonderful man who God has put in my life after all these years post convent, and our six month date is on my feast day itself. I still very much treasure the example and help of my patroness. Praying for you all!