Ta’litha cu’mi (Little girl, I say to you, arise) Mk 5:41

May 6, 2013 | 0 comments

Most convents have a set schedule, or horarium, which the sisters follow. But when you come back to the world, it can be hard to know what to do and when.

After I returned to the world, it seemed like all I did was sleep for the first few weeks. I did not sleep well while I was in the convent, so I suppose I needed to catch up. But after that I had to start facing the reality that I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It was overwhelming.

Fortunately, I had great people in my life to help me define some important activities.

First, I was encouraged to make sure I got some exercise every day. This is HUGE.  Don’t underestimate exercise! If you don’t believe me, check out this link: http://catholiclane.com/natural-spark-to-treat-add-and-other-conditions/. Your regimen doesn’t need to be intense, just regular. My preferred activity was a 20-minute or longer walk. But sometimes I just needed to run, so I did (I am NOT a runner, by the way). Pick something that you like and get going!

Next, you should consider your daily prayer life now that you are back. The truth is that you will not be able to imitate the prayer life you experienced in the convent, even if you want to. The other temptation is to abandon it completely. Talk to God about what He wants you to do. If you’re having a hard time hearing God, this is a great topic for a spiritual director, priest, or close friend/family member who knows you well. If nothing else, say the rosary every day. I know Mary wants to help.

Finally, try to go to Mass, adoration and confession, especially if you don’t want to go. If you don’t have transportation or there aren’t opportunities for the sacraments near you, do something else instead. For example, you can make a spiritual communion at the same time every day. If you don’t want to do these things, make sure you go and tell God all about why you don’t want to be there. Then let Him answer.

The main point I would like to make is BE INTENTIONAL!

Don’t just float through your day. If you commit to prayer, exercise or whatever else, you will still do it on the “bad days” when you don’t feel like doing it. I love walking. I treasure my daily walk. And yet, most days it took a lot of effort to get up and go. Talk to God and make a plan!

By Rosa Mystica.

Nun-Ya Beeznuss!

Mar 17, 2013 | 10 comments

When you return to the world and start getting out more, you are bound to run into folks who had heard you went away to the convent and are shocked to see you in the frozen food aisle (for instance).  Even more awkward are the encounters with the Church Ladies after Mass who want to pry into the depths of your heart. If you have not yet experienced this, I am quite confident that you will eventually (unless you move to Siberia and no one knows you).

So how do you respond?  It’s easy to think that you owe people an explanation.  After all, many of us had to do fundraising to enter the convent in the first place.  Our church communities, acquaintances, employers, etc. did various things to help support us as we prepared to leave.  When you know people have done so much to help you get to the convent, you can feel that you are obligated to explain.  And, to be frank, sometimes people think you ARE supposed to tell them all the details.

The truth is you don’t have to tell anyone anything. Period.

But, but, but, that sounds so mean!

It can be an opportunity for evangelization!
It’s a chance to teach people about religious life!
It can make people talk about discernment!

Yes, it could be those things at the right time, with the right person, for the right reasons.

Usually, though, it’s just inappropriate.

And so is your guilt for not saying more.

Please take a deep breath and give yourself permission to set some boundaries. The good news is that most people really will accept a simple explanation. It’s shocking how saying something simple such as, “I gave it a try and it wasn’t the place for me,” will satisfy most people.  Typically, I would receive a big smile and a few encouraging words in response.

But a few will want to know more. Think about what you truly feel comfortable sharing with people, especially those who are barely more than strangers. Perhaps you can have a Tier 2 answer prepared for these folks. An example is: After spending time in religious life, God showed me it wasn’t His will that I remain. No matter why you left the convent and who made that choice, this answer is true.  God is truly the One who made the decision and somehow it was His will that you leave.

WHAT IF THEY PERSIST?

Then you politely smile and say, I’m sorry, I don’t feel comfortable answering that question.

It’s unfortunate if they don’t like that. You are not being rude. Prying into other people’s lives is rude. End of story.

Isn’t it freeing to know that? When this was explained to me, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I wish I could have heard it sooner.

In conclusion, if you are having difficulty accepting this, I would recommend you check out a book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud (https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454). Part of the beauty of coming back to the world is that you have a perfect excuse to start anew.  If you’ve struggled with setting boundaries in the past, God has provided you with a great opportunity to grow in this area. Good luck!

By Rosa Mystica.