Jan 21, 2014 |
“Take, O Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. Whatever I have or hold Thou has given me; I restore it all to Thee, and surrender it wholly to be governed by Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace, and I am rich enough to ask for nothing more.”
—St. Ignatius of Loyola
On entering a convent, you surrender your life to God. On leaving a convent, even more so, you surrender your will as well. All of your plans, your desires, your hopes, your dreams, your struggles, your perseverance: these now seem completely pointless. You wonder if they meant anything at all.
The truth is: THEY DO!!!
What dearer things to your heart do you have to offer your Beloved than these? Only your will is fully yours; surrender that, and we have given Him everything!
It is hard to imagine that we could be happy while following a path that is different than what we originally wanted. But His path (this “road to Calvary” really), is your path to holiness, to Union with Him, which was the whole purpose of your having entered Religious Life in the first place!
What is Religious Life if not a gradual surrendering of our will in order to become conformed to His, and thus enter into complete union with Him? When He called you out of the convent, He desired to quicken that process. He did not wish to wait any longer to possess you entirely. Therefore, you are still called to this union; you are still called to give yourself entirely to Him; you are still His beloved Bride!
Now you have given Him your memories, understanding, your time, your work, your obedience, poverty, and chastity, your religious family, customs, and life: wait and see what He does with them, because He was the one who had given them to you for a time. You’ve grown, you’ve loved, you’ve surrendered; this is the image of His life on earth.
You are not as far as you think from living in a perfect imitation of Jesus’ life, which is the true “Religious Life.”
One word I must speak to You tonight,
In it is summed up in my heart’s prayer.
In it is my sorrow, joy, desires, love,
Gifts, pleasures, temptations, illness;
Ah, Jesus, everything!
I will not moan or groan at Your Hand,
Only Your will, my Jesus, is my own.
I have nothing to give, I am empty.
So take my whole soul, my yes,
My fiat.
by Rachel.
Dec 31, 2013 |
Since leaving the convent I’ve had the privilege of living with my brother, his wife and their three children. It has been amazing for many reasons.
As you would imagine, the convent life is well-ordered and you have a sense of what to expect everyday. Things did certainly come up on occasion to change your schedule, but mostly we followed the horarium and knew what was going on each day. However, living with a young family with three children 4 and under is completely different. Chaos reigns. For instance, now that it is after Christmas, it looks like a toy bomb went off in the house. Post-Christmas in the convent is nothing like this!
Yet, there is a real beauty in the disorder and chaos here. I think we all spend most of our lives trying to convince ourselves that we have more control over our lives than we actually do. But the reality is that life happens and there isn’t much we can do about it. Family life exemplifies this truth. You can try to keep the toys picked up, crumbs off the table and yucky things out of mouths, but the effort is rather futile. Experiencing this firsthand has helped me grow immensely. The order and structure of convent life fit with my natural personality. But the insanity of living here is much more beneficial to helping me grow as a person. What a blessing!
I cannot help but reflect on what my image of holiness can be: neat, orderly, clean, ironed and fresh-smelling. But is that the only path to holiness? It certainly wasn’t the stable in Bethlehem (barn animals anyone?). I am confident it wasn’t St. Therese as she coughed up blood or her dad as he suffered mental illness. If you really stop and think what life was like for most saints, I think the answer would be at least a little messy.
So what does this mean for us? Should we throw our hands up and let the house get overgrown with mold? Certainly not! We still need to keep choking hazards out of mouths and encourage the kids to pick their toys up at the end of the day. But we shouldn’t be attempting to attain a 100% sterile environment and kill ourselves in the process. I don’t know where the balance is located, but it’s certainly worth praying about it. This idea bleeds over into our personal lives as well. Compared to the convent, the world is a noisy, messy place. And yet, for now the Lord has called us back into the world to “make disciples of all the nations…” (Mt 28:19). Though this sounds like a daunting task, he leaves us with this encouraging line: “Behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Mt 28:20) Thanks be to God!
By Pinkie
Dec 2, 2013 |
That I Can Do In The World (To Make My Life Better)
Be disciplined about time:
When the bell rang, we stopped what we were doing and moved onto the next thing. It didn’t matter if you were in the middle of a great story, having an awesome prayer time, etc. It was time to go. In my life this would add a lot of sanity if I have the discipline to do it. If I tell myself I will read for 15 minutes, do email for 5 minutes, then clean for 20 minutes, etc. I would get so many different things done. Instead I get sucked into tasks and neglect the others. Or I stay up too late so I am tired and grouchy the next day.
Communicate with family:
It was stressed that we needed to write to our family regularly. Because of that, I wrote my grandparents (and parents) often. And it was such a blessing. I didn’t make it a priority in the world because there were so many other tasks vying for my attention. But in the convent we knew that Sunday afternoon was time to write. What a gift! There is something very beautiful about a letter arriving in your mailbox because it is so intentional.
Sometimes I just need to move on:
When there would be a misunderstanding in the convent, it was hard to find time to talk things out because we observed silence for most of the day. I had such a desire to explain myself to others or find out why they did what they did, etc. But we really couldn’t do that, and it was often a blessing. I don’t need to explain myself all of the time or tell others why what they just did hurt me or annoyed me, etc. Quite often I would forget about whatever was such a big deal when I finally had an opportunity to talk about it.
Choose your words:
Having so much silent time made the opportunities for talking to my sisters precious. I was very intentional about my conversation and I started to see how much useless talking goes on in our lives. Now that I am back in the world, there are many times where random things pop into my head. I could share these thoughts in conversation, but I just choose not to say them.
Make reading a priority:
We had 30 minutes of designated spiritual reading time every day. Because of that, I blazed through a ton of great books. If I even dedicated half that amount of time to reading spiritual books now that would be awesome.
Don’t hit snooze:
When the bell rang at 5am we had to get out of bed. It was just part of life. The day was so productive because we got up and got moving.
The importance of recreation/free time:
It was part of our schedule because it is important. I felt good after exercising and spending time with my sisters!
Being flexible:
We had a schedule but sometimes things came up: random mission trip, etc. It’s easy to get bent out of shape when you have your day planned and then a monkey wrench comes in. But in the convent it was easy to view it as “God’s will.” I can do that in the world too!
Portion control and lack of sweets:
You couldn’t over eat or overindulge because certain foods weren’t available at all or in large quantities. What a gift!
How to take a fast shower:
It is possible!
A tidy room is pleasant:
My cell was calm because there wasn’t a bunch of junk lying around.
Sit up straight and smile:
The importance of good posture and a joyful countenance was very obvious in the convent!
by: Maria Goretti
Sep 30, 2013 |
Was it just me, or did returning from the convent leave you feeling like a turtle standing there without a shell?
| awk.ward (ak-werd)-Not graceful; ungainly.-Not dexterous; clumsy.-Clumsily or unskillfully performed: –Difficult to handle or manage:-Marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort: |
For me, the only thing more awkward than sitting in the airport on my way home wearing my knee-highs and clunky “nun-shoes,” with no one to talk to and nothing to make me look distracted or less lonely than my breviary and rosary, was facing EVERYONE…because even though people are understanding, nobody understands.
Why am I awkward? Let’s face it, I’ve probably always been a bit different. The fact that my idea of the perfect life was vowing and embracing the evangelical counsels; the exact opposite of that which the world tells us will make us happy, attests to this. Sex, money and power anyone? No thanks, I could really go for a life long commitment of chastity, poverty and obedience… What?
The thing is, the more I became graceful and comfortable living the religious life the more I became clumsy and uncomfortable in the secular world. In some ways I think it just had to do with the fact that I wasn’t used to being exposed to the world anymore. I was used to modesty, silence and prayer, study and recreation, a schedule and a community of women striving for holiness and love. All of a sudden I came crashing into the immodest, noisy, chaotic and selfish world that I had previously escaped. All of a sudden I felt scandalized and uncomfortable by everything around me.
However, now that I’ve been back in the world even longer than I was in the convent and now that I’m well exposed to the world and I don’t feel scandalized and embarrassed at every moment, I think that it’s still important to be awkward. We should be graceful and skillful women of Christ but awkward to sin and the secular world. Lets not get comfortable with that which the world offers but rather keep striving for chastity, poverty and obedience according to our state in life.
Be the woman who is modest in speech, dress and behavior. Be the woman who lives simply, tithes and gives to charity. Be the woman who lives the Gospel and is obedient and docile to her priest or spiritual director and to her employer. Be the woman who holds mankind in her heart and offers her life in love for the salvation of souls. Be the awkward light that catches the attention of sinners and makes them feel uncomfortable. Be the light that makes the roaches run and scatter. Be the light that awakens the sleeping. Be the light that expels darkness.
Lord, give us the grace to be awkward! Amen
by Cora Cantata
Aug 26, 2013 |
As many of you know, Pope Francis announced on July 5 that JP2 and Bl. John XXIII will soon be canonized.
I recently read a biography about the life of Pope John XXIII (Angelo Roncalli). The book was filled with beautiful and interesting stories about his life. One that struck me in a particular way was about his niece Enrica. She was in the convent for a little over a year, fell ill and had to withdraw. When he heard this, he wrote her a note, knowing that she was having difficulty being back in the world.
“My dear niece Enrica, a word for you alone. You have already shed enough tears. Shed no more but be happy and content in the Lord. If the Lord requires something else of you he will make his voice heard clearly and loudly. Holiness consists not in penances and extraordinary practices but in seeking in all things the Lord’s will, in obedience and humility.” (“I Will Be Called John” by Lawrence Elliott, page 156)
Enrica later said “his letter made it possible for me to accept myself.” I find the last part such a great reminder that God is calling us to holiness here and now. Many people think that one has to go to the convent/monastery/etc. in order to be holy. But if God has brought you back to the world (even if it’s for a short time), it is because this is part of the path to holiness for you.
St. Josemaria Escriva was a strong proponent of holiness in daily life, and that is the purpose of Opus Dei (which he founded). If you haven’t heard of it, I would encourage you to learn more!
If you are having a hard time adjusting, I would encourage you to ask the intercession of Bl. John XXIII, St. Josemaria Escriva and Leonie Martin.
Here is a newly approved prayer to Leonie:
Dear Leonie our Sister,
You have already intervened with God on our behalf,
and we would like to be able to pray to you officially,
so that many more might know you.
Come to the aid of parents who risk losing a child,
as you nearly died at a very young age.
Continue to uphold the families
where different generations have problems living together in peace.
Enlighten youth who question their future and hesitate to commit.
Show to all the way of prayer
which permits you to bear your limitations and your difficulties with confidence,
and to give yourself to others.
Lord, if such is your will,
deign to accord us the grace that we ask of you
through the intercession of your servant Leonie,
and inscribe her among the number of the venerable of your Church.
Through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Imprimatur: March 25, 2012
Jean-Claude Boulanger
Bishop of Bayeux-Lisieux
By Pinkie
Since leaving the convent I’ve had the privilege of living with my brother, his wife and their three children. It has been amazing for many reasons.
Be disciplined about time:
Was it just me, or did returning from the convent leave you feeling like a turtle standing there without a shell?
As many of you know, Pope Francis announced on July 5 that JP2 and Bl. John XXIII will soon be canonized.
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