Jul 15, 2013 |
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
(Excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic” delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910)
I don’t know about you, but this quotation inspires me and gives me a lot of hope!
When I returned from the religious life, I felt judged by many people, including myself.
“How could I have been so stupid?”
“Why did you give all of your things away?”
“Of course you weren’t good enough.”
Etc.
Yet, I tried. And so did you.
If we wouldn’t have tried, would we have wondered the rest of our lives, “What if?”
I have my good days and my bad days. But even on my bad days I can’t kick myself for not trying.
And that’s pretty awesome.
by Pinkie.
Jul 2, 2013 |
When I heard yesterday’s Gospel, it struck me in a new and profound way. Do you remember it? It’s Luke 9:51-62 and you can read it here http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/063013.cfm.
I would like to focus on the last two verses:
And another said, “I will follow you, Lord,
but first let me say farewell to my family at home.”
To him Jesus said, “No one who sets a hand to the plow
and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”
I think it’s easy to view this passage as being simply about the “original” call to vocation and to use it as an opportunity for behavior such as finger-pointing and/or self-pity. For example: “Jesus calls other people and they blow Him off. I tried to follow him in a vocation and it got all messed up.
But Scripture is for everyone at all times. Even if you have returned to the world after attempting the religious life, the Lord is still asking you to plow and not look back! If we look backwards, we miss what God has in store for us. And it causes a crooked furrow! We need to keep our hands on the plow and look forward towards Jesus.
Is this hard? Absolutely! That’s why we need to talk to Jesus and tell Him that it is hard and why. Am I saying you shouldn’t reflect on past experience? No. That serves a purpose, but wallowing does not. Discernment is the key here. Please add your comments below and share the wisdom that you have discovered on this topic. God bless!
By The Farmer
Jun 24, 2013 |
I spent 10 years as a convert in Judaism and 5 years as an immigrant in Israel. Then I left it all. But 10 years of my life, the most formative years of my life, were still all bound up in Judaism and the Jewish homeland. When I “made yeridah” (“went down” from Israel, returning to the US), I returned to West Virginia. In West Virginia, nobody cared where I’d been or what I’d done or what I’d been through.
It was lonely. I needed to process it all: all my experiences, all my changing beliefs, all my transforming self. But when you go away for a long time and return, all people want to do is update you on what you “missed.” It was true: America had changed a lot in the time I was overseas. But I honestly could not have cared less about that at the time. I needed someone to listen. For a long time. And I just could not find anyone who was interested in hearing about Israel and my conversions and all my confusion about God and turbulent feelings about Jews for hours and hours and hours. You know how when someone comes back from a trip to Europe and all they talk about is Europe? And everyone starts to complain, annoyed, “All she ever wants to talk about is Europe!” That was me. So in order not to be annoying, or to be perceived as the snob who wanted to rub in everyone’s faces how much time she’d spent overseas, I just kept it all to myself. Real lonely-like.
On top of needing to talk about what I had been through, there was what I was going through at the time: what cultural scholars call “re-enculturation,” the process of readjusting to one’s native culture after being away from it for a long time. No one but another West Virginian who had converted to Judaism and immigrated to Israel and returned to West Virginia at exactly the same times as me could understand what I was experiencing. And how many of those are there?
One. So far as I’m aware.
Double the loneliness.
Then there was the fact of all the stereotypes and misconceptions people have about life in Israel. A typical conversation went like this:
“Oh my gosh! Erin! I haven’t seen you in, like, ages! Where have you been?! What have you done?”
“Well, I converted to Judaism and immigrated to Israel. I just got back.”
“Whoa, that’s intense. [Enter stereotype:] Was it really scary there?”
“No.” (It was really hard for me to keep my patience at this point.)
“I mean, what about all the bombings and the missiles and the war and stuff? Wasn’t that, like, really intense?” (Yes, I know what you meant!)
“No. People go on with life. It’s not like it appears on CNN.”
“Oh. Well, hey, we’re going over to so-and-so’s house tonight for a bonfire.”
And that was it. That was the end of their interest. Despite the constant tidal wave of emotions and thoughts churning inside me, I felt reduced, on the outside, to a 10-second myth-debunker. That’s all people wanted to know. From my side, it felt like they weren’t interested in me. Because I had so much I needed to say. So much I needed someone to listen to.
I imagine that leaving the convent is a lot like this. Especially if you were there for a long time. Especially considering all the misconceptions people have about being a sister. Especially if you’re in a place that’s not heavily Catholic.
Honestly, I’m not sure how I got through that period of my life. I know that not having anyone to listen to me forced me to turn to God. We worked it out, “processed everything” together, on our own. And I guess that’s the way it should have been. After all, my travels were spiritual travels (much like yours, I presume), and though being around a bunch of people who don’t understand or aren’t interested can make me feel like I traveled “that road and this one” very much alone, the truth is that I was never alone. I had a Fellow Traveler. And He was always interested. He always understood. He was always willing to listen. Even for hours and hours and hours.
It can become really easy to get bitter at other people’s lack of interest in where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing and what you’ve been going through all these years. It took me over a year to finally find some compassion for them. Because I was so wrapped up in myself, trying to process what had happened to me, what was happening to me, it took me that long to see things from their perspective: Just like my life had gone on in Israel, so had theirs in my absence. I couldn’t just show up again and dump 10 years of spiritual and cultural turmoil on them. It was, as they said, too intense.”
After about four years, I finally met someone who was interested in hearing the whole story. The weird thing was, when the opportunity arose for me to spill it all, I was the one who gave the Cliff’s Notes version. It just felt odd at that point to talk about it for hours and hours. Because at that point, I had finally gotten past it all. I had processed everything that needed to be processed, expressed everything that needed to be expressed. But I’d done it slowly, over time, with my Fellow Traveler, rather than in one great big sudden dramatic dump with someone who wouldn’t have been able to understand anyway. I think it worked out better that way. More naturally, at least.
If you have someone who is willing to let you dump it all out on them, consider yourself hugely blessed. If you don’t, and you really need one, this ministry is for you. Reach out to your fellow former-sisters in the Comment boxes. Share your experiences, and be willing to listen, too.
But if none of those things is an option for you, then know that, as time goes on, you’ll work it all out anyway. Slowly, over time, with your Fellow Traveler. Until one day, it will just feel strange to make such a big deal out of it. Because life will have gone on.
By J.E. Sigler.
Jun 3, 2013 |
One of the difficulties we face when we return to the world involves connectivity. You said goodbye to your phone, Facebook, email, etc. when you left. But upon your return, you are faced with clear choices about what you want to do. Some people want to jump back into it immediately, while others slowly return, if ever.
Though Facebook and email are free, phones are not. What’s a post-convent girl supposed to do? When I returned, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to talk on the phone, let alone pay for one. Are there ways to ease into it?
After exploring many options, I would say the answer is yes. First of all, if you don’t feel ready to get a phone, don’t do it. What’s the point of forcing it? You’ll eventually get one, so enjoy the freedom while you can! One of the things I found enjoyable about the convent was not feeling the pressure of unanswered messages and calls. Also, once you have a phone, it creates an expectation. Therefore, if you don’t know if you are up for random calls from family/friends, getting a phone right now might not be the best idea. Borrowing other people’s phones will allow you to call out while also minimizing inbound calls.
Eventually you’ll be ready to take the plunge and the next question will be about money. Some people have a generous loved one who is willing to cough up the cash for a phone plan, but what if that’s not the case for you? When I started looking around for a phone plan, I was stunned. I was not in a position to sign a 2-year contract for $50-90 per month. My income was ZERO and I was depending on others to provide me with food, clothing and shelter.
I ended up getting a pay-by-the-minute plan through Page Plus and it served me very well. I had an old phone lying about and I got a new number via Page Plus. There are many no-contract phone companies, so look around. And, the benefit of using an old phone was that I paid nothing for my device. A lot of people have their last model phone in a drawer collecting dust and you can use this to help you get started. This can get you by for awhile until you get on your feet financially. I was hesitant to do this at first, because I assumed these companies would have poor service. But, I found out that many people are now switching to these no-contract carriers because they have the same service, cost less and don’t require a commitment. Be not afraid!
If you’re feeling a little more adventurous and you have internet access where you live, I would recommend trying Google Voice. The easiest way to explain it is that it is a “pointer.” You can get a phone number through them, and then “point” it wherever you want. For example, lets say you sign up for a Google number and choose 313-222-5555 (yes, you can select your phone number). You could have your account ring your parents’ house phone when anyone called your 313 number. If you stay with your friend for the weekend, you can have your friend’s cell phone ring when someone calls your 313 number. One of the many cool things about this is that if you have a minute phone, you can save your minutes by texting and calling through the web instead. Did I mention that it is totally free? It took me awhile to get the hang of using it but it was totally worth it.
In conclusion, the choices we have today for communication are changing all of the time. Pray about how available you want to be and make your choices based upon that prayer. Also, don’t allow anyone to pressure you to do things when you are not ready. For example, people can be hurt if you have a phone but never text them back. So if you’re not ready to text, don’t get a phone (or don’t tell people you have one!). If you are considering a phone but find the prospect of research overwhelming, you can ask friends or family members who are really into technology to explore some options for you. It can allow you to save money and give them a way to help you out. Finally, feel free to contact us if you have questions. God bless!
By Pinkie.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
I spent 10 years as a convert in Judaism and 5 years as an immigrant in Israel. Then I left it all. But 10 years of my life, the most formative years of my life, were still all bound up in Judaism and the Jewish homeland. When I “made yeridah” (“went down” from Israel, returning to the US), I returned to West Virginia. In West Virginia, nobody cared where I’d been or what I’d done or what I’d been through.
And what do you want to be when you grow up? asked the fourth grade teacher to her class. “An astronaut!” “The president!” “An actress!” “A pro-football player!” responded the bright-eyed students. The sky is the limit to a nine year old. Could you imagine if a child ecstatically exclaimed, “a cashier!” or “a receptionist!” Such a response would certainly raise eye brows, and maybe even a little teasing on the part of his or her classmates.
One of the difficulties we face when we return to the world involves connectivity. You said goodbye to your phone, Facebook, email, etc. when you left. But upon your return, you are faced with clear choices about what you want to do. Some people want to jump back into it immediately, while others slowly return, if ever.
Recent Comments