Sep 30, 2013 |
Was it just me, or did returning from the convent leave you feeling like a turtle standing there without a shell?
| awk.ward (ak-werd)-Not graceful; ungainly.-Not dexterous; clumsy.-Clumsily or unskillfully performed: –Difficult to handle or manage:-Marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort: |
For me, the only thing more awkward than sitting in the airport on my way home wearing my knee-highs and clunky “nun-shoes,” with no one to talk to and nothing to make me look distracted or less lonely than my breviary and rosary, was facing EVERYONE…because even though people are understanding, nobody understands.
Why am I awkward? Let’s face it, I’ve probably always been a bit different. The fact that my idea of the perfect life was vowing and embracing the evangelical counsels; the exact opposite of that which the world tells us will make us happy, attests to this. Sex, money and power anyone? No thanks, I could really go for a life long commitment of chastity, poverty and obedience… What?
The thing is, the more I became graceful and comfortable living the religious life the more I became clumsy and uncomfortable in the secular world. In some ways I think it just had to do with the fact that I wasn’t used to being exposed to the world anymore. I was used to modesty, silence and prayer, study and recreation, a schedule and a community of women striving for holiness and love. All of a sudden I came crashing into the immodest, noisy, chaotic and selfish world that I had previously escaped. All of a sudden I felt scandalized and uncomfortable by everything around me.
However, now that I’ve been back in the world even longer than I was in the convent and now that I’m well exposed to the world and I don’t feel scandalized and embarrassed at every moment, I think that it’s still important to be awkward. We should be graceful and skillful women of Christ but awkward to sin and the secular world. Lets not get comfortable with that which the world offers but rather keep striving for chastity, poverty and obedience according to our state in life.
Be the woman who is modest in speech, dress and behavior. Be the woman who lives simply, tithes and gives to charity. Be the woman who lives the Gospel and is obedient and docile to her priest or spiritual director and to her employer. Be the woman who holds mankind in her heart and offers her life in love for the salvation of souls. Be the awkward light that catches the attention of sinners and makes them feel uncomfortable. Be the light that makes the roaches run and scatter. Be the light that awakens the sleeping. Be the light that expels darkness.
Lord, give us the grace to be awkward! Amen
by Cora Cantata
Aug 26, 2013 |
As many of you know, Pope Francis announced on July 5 that JP2 and Bl. John XXIII will soon be canonized.
I recently read a biography about the life of Pope John XXIII (Angelo Roncalli). The book was filled with beautiful and interesting stories about his life. One that struck me in a particular way was about his niece Enrica. She was in the convent for a little over a year, fell ill and had to withdraw. When he heard this, he wrote her a note, knowing that she was having difficulty being back in the world.
“My dear niece Enrica, a word for you alone. You have already shed enough tears. Shed no more but be happy and content in the Lord. If the Lord requires something else of you he will make his voice heard clearly and loudly. Holiness consists not in penances and extraordinary practices but in seeking in all things the Lord’s will, in obedience and humility.” (“I Will Be Called John” by Lawrence Elliott, page 156)
Enrica later said “his letter made it possible for me to accept myself.” I find the last part such a great reminder that God is calling us to holiness here and now. Many people think that one has to go to the convent/monastery/etc. in order to be holy. But if God has brought you back to the world (even if it’s for a short time), it is because this is part of the path to holiness for you.
St. Josemaria Escriva was a strong proponent of holiness in daily life, and that is the purpose of Opus Dei (which he founded). If you haven’t heard of it, I would encourage you to learn more!
If you are having a hard time adjusting, I would encourage you to ask the intercession of Bl. John XXIII, St. Josemaria Escriva and Leonie Martin.
Here is a newly approved prayer to Leonie:
Dear Leonie our Sister,
You have already intervened with God on our behalf,
and we would like to be able to pray to you officially,
so that many more might know you.
Come to the aid of parents who risk losing a child,
as you nearly died at a very young age.
Continue to uphold the families
where different generations have problems living together in peace.
Enlighten youth who question their future and hesitate to commit.
Show to all the way of prayer
which permits you to bear your limitations and your difficulties with confidence,
and to give yourself to others.
Lord, if such is your will,
deign to accord us the grace that we ask of you
through the intercession of your servant Leonie,
and inscribe her among the number of the venerable of your Church.
Through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Imprimatur: March 25, 2012
Jean-Claude Boulanger
Bishop of Bayeux-Lisieux
By Pinkie
Jun 17, 2013 |
And what do you want to be when you grow up? asked the fourth grade teacher to her class. “An astronaut!” “The president!” “An actress!” “A pro-football player!” responded the bright-eyed students. The sky is the limit to a nine year old. Could you imagine if a child ecstatically exclaimed, “a cashier!” or “a receptionist!” Such a response would certainly raise eye brows, and maybe even a little teasing on the part of his or her classmates.
Yet, the older we get, the more we are faced with obstacles when pursuing our dreams. Suddenly, we wake up to find ourselves sitting in a cubicle, entering senseless data and answering phones for a company that sells pencils. So much for our dreams and ambitions. Time to face reality.
As a teenager, my greatest ambition was to one day become a nun, and at 25 years old, that dream came true. Happily ever after? Not exactly. I was as surprised as my friends and family were when I realized it was not my calling. Leaving the convent was the hardest thing I had to do. I felt like a complete failure. Desperate for a job, I landed a secretary position. It paid the bills, yes. But was I happy? No. That nine year old self challenged me to aim high and fulfill my true potential. Pushing aside my insecurities and doubts, I listened and entered a graduate program to become a certified Counselor.
A vivid memory has always stayed with me that has kept me grounded. Shortly after I left the convent, in a time of confusion as to what I was going to do next, I turned on the television to a local Christian station. The host on the show said something that entirely changed my perspective of vocation. While giving her personal testimony, she had discovered that where your wound is, there your ministry also will be. Many can testify to this truth, including myself.
As a Career Coach, I have had the privilege of helping others find out “who they want to be when they grow up.” More often than not, individuals discover that their career potential is right in front of them. Maybe it’s a personal hobby, an academic interest, or through volunteer work. Your path may not be clearly set out in front of you just yet, but if you remember to listen to that little nine year old voice in your head, you will find yourself fulfilling what Aristotle once said, “Where your talents and the world’s needs cross, there lies your vocation.”
By Wendy Macagno
Wendy has received her MA degree in Counseling Psychology from Regis University and her BA in Religious Studies from Benedictine College. She has served her community as a career coach in both the non profit and government sectors.
May 20, 2013 |
I don’t know about you, but I constantly need to be reminded that the present is the only time that matters. It is common for pop-psychology writers to bring up phrases such as “the power of now” and “living in the present”. And these are concepts worth pondering.
But the real question is why? An ontological-type answer might be something along the lines of, “nothing else truly exists except the present.” And on my bad days, I would respond, “so what?”
Why does only the present moment matter, in a real, rubber-meets-the road kind of way?
“It is in the present that we encounter him, not yesterday nor tomorrow, but today.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraph 2659.
Now is the only time that God can work and that we can be with Him. Amazing. This is just like any other relationship. I can hope to be with my friend tomorrow, but I cannot, right now, be with my friend tomorrow. It is impossible.
As C.S. Lewis said, “The present is the only time in which any duty may be done or grace received.”
Satan loves to distract us with the past and the future. He doesn’t want us to be present and be open to what God wants to do with us RIGHT NOW.
How does this happen? First, we dwell on memories and/or look at them with unrealistic, rose-colored glasses. One year ago I was having the time of my life in the convent with my sisters. It was so amazing. And now, I am here and it stinks. Let me be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging any feelings that you have about missing the convent, etc. What I am saying is that we can have an unrealistic view of the past, which makes the present seem awful in comparison. Satan loves to play on this. Your life wasn’t perfect before.
On the other end, there is fear of the future. Satan loves to paralyze us with worries about the unknown. We have all had that sinking feeling as we think, what next? I will never forget being in my cell the night before I left the convent I couldn’t sleep and I was trying to fight the fear involved in wondering, what will I do now? Others may have delayed that night for too long, even though they knew the convent wasn’t the place for them, because of this fear. When we are lost in dreaming or worrying about the future, we are not in the present.
In conclusion, “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” (Mt 6:34)
Jesus says this because we are only receiving grace for right now, not for the problems that we are anticipating or recalling. The Three Persons of the Trinity want to love us right now, give us peace right now, and let us experience joy right now. So don’t be anywhere but here right now!
By Rosa Mystica.
May 6, 2013 |
Most convents have a set schedule, or horarium, which the sisters follow. But when you come back to the world, it can be hard to know what to do and when.
After I returned to the world, it seemed like all I did was sleep for the first few weeks. I did not sleep well while I was in the convent, so I suppose I needed to catch up. But after that I had to start facing the reality that I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It was overwhelming.
Fortunately, I had great people in my life to help me define some important activities.
First, I was encouraged to make sure I got some exercise every day. This is HUGE. Don’t underestimate exercise! If you don’t believe me, check out this link: http://catholiclane.com/natural-spark-to-treat-add-and-other-conditions/. Your regimen doesn’t need to be intense, just regular. My preferred activity was a 20-minute or longer walk. But sometimes I just needed to run, so I did (I am NOT a runner, by the way). Pick something that you like and get going!
Next, you should consider your daily prayer life now that you are back. The truth is that you will not be able to imitate the prayer life you experienced in the convent, even if you want to. The other temptation is to abandon it completely. Talk to God about what He wants you to do. If you’re having a hard time hearing God, this is a great topic for a spiritual director, priest, or close friend/family member who knows you well. If nothing else, say the rosary every day. I know Mary wants to help.
Finally, try to go to Mass, adoration and confession, especially if you don’t want to go. If you don’t have transportation or there aren’t opportunities for the sacraments near you, do something else instead. For example, you can make a spiritual communion at the same time every day. If you don’t want to do these things, make sure you go and tell God all about why you don’t want to be there. Then let Him answer.
The main point I would like to make is BE INTENTIONAL!
Don’t just float through your day. If you commit to prayer, exercise or whatever else, you will still do it on the “bad days” when you don’t feel like doing it. I love walking. I treasure my daily walk. And yet, most days it took a lot of effort to get up and go. Talk to God and make a plan!
By Rosa Mystica.
As many of you know, Pope Francis announced on July 5 that JP2 and Bl. John XXIII will soon be canonized.
And what do you want to be when you grow up? asked the fourth grade teacher to her class. “An astronaut!” “The president!” “An actress!” “A pro-football player!” responded the bright-eyed students. The sky is the limit to a nine year old. Could you imagine if a child ecstatically exclaimed, “a cashier!” or “a receptionist!” Such a response would certainly raise eye brows, and maybe even a little teasing on the part of his or her classmates.
I don’t know about you, but I constantly need to be reminded that the present is the only time that matters. It is common for pop-psychology writers to bring up phrases such as “the power of now” and “living in the present”. And these are concepts worth pondering.
Most convents have a set schedule, or horarium, which the sisters follow. But when you come back to the world, it can be hard to know what to do and when.
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